Chapter 277: Chapter 277 | Headpats are Not HR

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The server lit the grill with a practiced flick of his lighter, blue flames licking up through the grate before settling into a steady orange glow. Heat radiated outward in waves that made the air shimmer, and Jordan watched Lila grab the tongs like she was preparing to conduct an orchestra of meat.

"Alright." Lila laid the first strips of beef across the grill, each piece positioned with the kind of precision she probably reserved for high-stakes League matches. The meat hit the hot grate with an immediate sizzle. "Ground rules. I don’t do corporate speak, I don’t do morning meetings, and I absolutely do not do anything before noon unless someone is literally dying. And I mean Code Blue, crash cart, someone-call-the-family dying. Not ’oh no the server’s down’ dying."

"Those seem like reasonable accommodations." Brooke had produced a small notebook from somewhere and was writing. The pen moved in quick, efficient strokes. "Should I document these as formal organizational policies? I can draft a flexible scheduling framework that accounts for circadian rhythm variance among team members."

"We don’t have HR." Chloe sipped her wine, watching the meat cook. "We barely have a company."

"Then who handles employee disputes when they arise?"

"Jordan." Kumiko’s face brightened like someone had just told her Christmas was coming early. "He’s very good at making people feel better! He gave me headpats earlier and I felt so much calmer."

"That’s... not what Human Resources does."

"It should be! Companies would be so much happier."

The beef sizzled and popped, fat rendering down into the flames below and sending up brief flares of orange light. The smell of expensive protein filled the booth, rich and savory. Lila turned the strips with the methodical focus of someone who took food very seriously despite her general disdain for most human activities. Each piece got rotated exactly ninety degrees, ensuring even char on all sides.

"So what exactly am I signing up for?" Lila didn’t look up from the grill. "Because the pitch was pretty vague. Something about streaming and content and not having to rely on Twitch’s garbage algorithm anymore."

Jordan leaned back.

"Nova Network is a talent collective. We handle the business side so creators can focus on content. Negotiating sponsorships, managing cross-promotion, building audience overlap between channels. You keep doing what you’re already doing, but with actual support instead of figuring everything out alone."

"And what do you get out of it?"

"Percentage of sponsorship deals we negotiate. Nothing from your direct revenue. If we don’t bring value, we don’t get paid."

Lila’s black lips pursed.

"That’s actually not terrible."

"I know."

"Don’t get cocky." She flipped another strip. "I said not terrible. That’s like a C-minus in my grading scale."

"What’s an A?"

"Free rent and unlimited Monster Energy."

"We’re not there yet."

"Obviously."

Chloe set down her wine glass.

"The initial roster is small. Me, Kumiko, and Lila if she agrees. Brooke handles finances and analytics. Jordan handles operations and business development. We’re targeting five to eight creators in the first quarter, focusing on complementary audiences rather than direct competition."

"Complementary how?"

"My content is lifestyle and gaming. Kumiko does cosplay and crafting. You do..." Chloe paused. "What would you call your content?"

"Chaos." Lila grinned. "With occasional gaming."

"Chaos, then. Different audiences, different content styles, but overlap in age demographics and spending patterns. When I raid Kumiko’s stream, her viewers become potential followers for me. When she raids you, same thing. We build each other up instead of fighting for the same eyeballs."

Brooke’s pen moved across her notebook.

"The mathematical model supports this approach. Collaborative audience building shows significantly higher retention rates than isolated growth strategies. I have graphs."

"Everyone has graphs." Lila waved dismissively. "Graphs are easy. Execution is hard."

"Which is why we’re starting small." Jordan reached for the cooked beef with his chopsticks. "Prove the concept works before scaling."

Kumiko bounced in her seat.

"Ooh, ooh! Tell her about the hot springs!"

Lila’s eyebrows rose.

"Hot springs?"

Jordan shot Kumiko a look that she completely ignored.

"Jordan-kun owns a hot springs resort in Newport Beach! It’s so pretty and there’s a koi fish named Mochi and the water makes your skin all soft and the staff are all beautiful women in kimonos!"

"You own a hot springs resort."

"It’s complicated."

"Uncomplicate it."

"Family inheritance. Not relevant to Nova Network."

Lila stared at him for a long moment, her violet contact lenses reflecting the grill’s flames.

"You’re either the most interesting person I’ve met this semester or the most elaborate con artist in Southern California history."

"Can’t I be both?"

"Probably." She turned back to the meat. "Fine. I’m in. But if this turns out to be some kind of pyramid scheme, I’m burning your house down."

"Noted."

Kumiko clapped her hands together.

"Yay! Lila-chan is joining! This is the best dinner ever!"

"Don’t make it weird." But Lila was smiling, a small genuine thing that looked almost foreign on her face. "And stop calling me chan. We’re not that close yet."

"Yet!" Kumiko latched onto the word. "That means we will be!"

"That’s not what I—" Lila sighed. "Whatever. Pass me the pork belly."

The meal progressed in a rhythm that Jordan hadn’t expected to feel so natural. Chloe maintained conversational order with subtle redirections whenever topics veered too far off course. Kumiko provided constant energy and enthusiasm that somehow made everyone else relax despite its intensity. Lila offered sardonic commentary that cut through any tension before it could build. Brooke contributed occasional observations that were either brilliantly insightful or completely socially inappropriate, with no middle ground.

Four women.

Four completely different personalities.

Somehow it worked.

"So Brooke." Lila had consumed an impressive amount of beef and was now working through the pork belly with single-minded dedication. "What’s your deal? Besides the obvious."

"I don’t understand the question."

"The obvious being that you’re gorgeous and clearly some kind of genius. What’s the non-obvious?"

Brooke’s face went red.

"I’m not gorgeous. My appearance is simply genetic expression combined with adequate nutrition and basic hygiene."

"Girl." Lila pointed at her with chopsticks. "You have anime eyes and a body that would make a Victoria’s Secret model cry. Own it."

"I prefer not to be perceived as a physical object."

"Too bad. Welcome to existing while female."

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