The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism
Waking up in another man's body is a classic trope. Lukas Belmont, a transmigrant with a library of webnovels in his head, knows exactly how this is supposed to go. Waking up as the powerless, orphaned ward in a house of super-powered heroes, with a system interface demanding he get laid to level up? That’s just another day. He’s the Unmarked son of dead legends, three months from the entrance exam for Halloran Academy. His stats are garbage, his social status is ‘charity case,’ and his only path to power is the Scumbag System. And the System is a passive-aggressive, trolling interface that offers him reality-bending powers through a gacha mechanic funded by one thing: raising the ‘Temptation Gauges’ of the women around him. His first quest? It’s to smack the ass of Sloane Fitzgerald—his fiery, super-powered psuedo-sister who sees him as a brother and a pervert in equal measure. The penalty for failure? A fifty-percent reduction of his manhood. Permanently. In a California city where heroes are the new celebrities, Lukas must navigate the brutal politics of the super-powered elite, hide a power system nobody can detect, and survive an academy that eats the Unmarked for breakfast. He’s got the meta-knowledge of a webnovel addict, the tactical mind of a survivor, and a system that’s half-tutor, half-blackmailer. But can an insect with a gacha system really climb a ladder built for gods? He's about to find out, one humiliating quest at a time. === This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events, and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Chapters (373)
- Chapter 1 — Chapter 1 | The Scumbag System Doesn’t Care About Your Hangover
- Chapter 2 — Chapter 2 | A 50% Reduction is a Declaration of War
- Chapter 3 — Chapter 3 | A 1% Increase in Temptation is Not Worth a 94% Chance of Consequences
- Chapter 4 — Chapter 4 | Sometimes The Best Lie is a Truth You’ve Decided to Weaponize
- Chapter 5 — Chapter 5 | Pressure is The Intended Design
- Chapter 6 — Chapter 6 | Radiant is a God, and I Am an Insect With a Gacha System
- Chapter 7 — Chapter 7 | Stop Trying to Win Fair Fights
- Chapter 8 — Chapter 8 | Lesson One: You’re Slower Than You Think
- Chapter 9 — Chapter 9 | Moral Considerations Are Secondary to Survival
- Chapter 10 — Chapter 10 | A Good Boy Makes Breakfast, and The Temptation Gauge Approves
- Chapter 11 — Chapter 11 | Starting Tonight, You Get The Kind of Training That Makes People Quit
- Chapter 12 — Chapter 12 | He’s Too Stubborn to Stay Down, and I’m Too Flustered to Stand Up
- Chapter 13 — Chapter 13 | I Traded My Dignity for Gacha Tickets, and I’d Do It Again
- Chapter 14 — Chapter 14 | Morality is a Luxury, But Stat Points Are an Investment
- Chapter 15 — Chapter 15 | My Plan to Climb Mount Everest in Flip-Flops
- Chapter 16 — Chapter 16 | Now We’re Even, and The System Agrees
- Chapter 17 — Chapter 17 | A Week of Getting My Ass Kicked and All I Got Was This Lousy Stat Increase
- Chapter 18 — Chapter 18 | Fool Me Once, Shame on the Scumbag System
- Chapter 19 — Chapter 19 | Phantom Touch is The Name of My Fake Superpower
- Chapter 20 — Chapter 20 | I’m Not The Same Lukas, and She’s Starting to Notice
- Chapter 21 — Chapter 21 | An Aspect Born from a Gacha Pull
- Chapter 22 — Chapter 22 | Dominance, Submission, and a Bowl of Popcorn
- Chapter 23 — Chapter 23 | Put Your Head on My Shoulder
- Chapter 24 — Chapter 24 | A Lie That Floats
- Chapter 25 — Chapter 25 | The Fitzgerald Foundation
- Chapter 26 — Chapter 26 | Blitz and a Bitter Aftertaste
- Chapter 27 — Chapter 27 | Some Lines Can’t Be Uncrossed
- Chapter 28 — Chapter 28 | Nine Years and a Text Message
- Chapter 29 — Chapter 29 | A Revision to the Plan
- Chapter 30 — Chapter 30 | Bold Moves and Blurred Frames
- Chapter 31 — Chapter 31 | Antiseptic Mint and Other Foreplay
- Chapter 32 — Chapter 32 | Blindfolded Dexterity
- Chapter 33 — Chapter 33 | Damage Control
- Chapter 34 — Chapter 34 | Trust Is a New Metric
- Chapter 35 — Chapter 35 | Dr. Weber Will See You Now
- Chapter 36 — Chapter 36 | From Unmarked to Force Manipulation
- Chapter 37 — Chapter 37 | The Faceless Veil
- Chapter 38 — Chapter 38 | The Devoted Threshold
- Chapter 39 — Chapter 39 | Touch Under Cover
- Chapter 40 — Chapter 40 | Optional Quest, Impossible Choice
- Chapter 41 — Chapter 41 | Sustained Contact Under Mismatched Pretenses
- Chapter 42 — Chapter 42 | Optimal Proximity, Suboptimal Choices
- Chapter 43 — Chapter 43 | From One Fire to the Next
- Chapter 44 — Chapter 44 | The Interruption and the Interrogation
- Chapter 45 — Chapter 45 | The Indecent Hypothesis
- Chapter 46 — Chapter 46 | There Is No Going Back
- Chapter 47 — Chapter 47 | Precedent Established
- Chapter 48 — Chapter 48 | No Safe Word
- Chapter 49 — Chapter 49 | A Transaction with Benefits
- Chapter 50 — Chapter 50 | The CEO of the Morning After
- Chapter 51 — Chapter 51 | Assets and Liabilities
- Chapter 52 — Chapter 52 | The Wrong Fitzgerald on His Mind
- Chapter 53 — Chapter 53 | Proprietary Interest
- Chapter 54 — Chapter 54 | Research Purposes
- Chapter 55 — Chapter 55 | The Crimson Card
- Chapter 56 — Chapter 56 | The Gambling Date
- Chapter 57 — Chapter 57 | A Non-Date with Competitive Consequences [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 — Chapter 58 | Tokyo Drift and Two Left Feet
- Chapter 59 — Chapter 59 | An Unscheduled Rival Encounter!
- Chapter 60 — Chapter 60 | Spectacle, Darling
- Chapter 61 — Chapter 61 | My Hero (Felony Assault Pending)
- Chapter 62 — Chapter 62 | Data, Desire, and a Two-Week Lie
- Chapter 63 — Chapter 63 | The CEO and the Seven-Round Minimum
- Chapter 64 — Chapter 64 | The Thirty-Day Countdown
- Chapter 65 — Chapter 65 | Cashing Out Before the Clock Runs Out
- Chapter 66 — Chapter 66 | A Final Upgrade Before the Tutorial Ends
- Chapter 67 — Chapter 67 - 6-7 | Just Before the Storm, the Cameras Turn On
- Chapter 68 — Chapter 68 | The Red Line and the End of the Tutorial
- Chapter 69 — Chapter 69 | I’ll Do My Own Thing
- Chapter 70 — Chapter 70 | Verification and a Fair Point
- Chapter 71 — Chapter 71 | One Test Down, One to Go
- Chapter 72 — Chapter 72 | The Girl with the Mirage
- Chapter 73 — Chapter 73 | The Zero-Pointer Bet
- Chapter 74 — Chapter 74 | It’s Not a Math Test
- Chapter 75 — Chapter 75 | The Scumbag’s Guide to Assists
- Chapter 76 — Chapter 76 | The View from the Top
- Chapter 77 — Chapter 77 | The Overture is Complete
- Chapter 78 — Chapter 78 | A Damsel, a Disaster, and a Bad Decision
- Chapter 79 — Chapter 79 | That’s Hero Shit Right There
- Chapter 80 — Chapter 80 | Networking and Other Crimes
- Chapter 81 — Chapter 81 | The Bubble-List Candidate and the Post-Exam Steak Dinner
- Chapter 82 — Chapter 82 | My Guardian’s Idea of Continued Excellence
- Chapter 83 — Chapter 83 | Side Quest Accepted: The Second Pillar
- Chapter 84 — Chapter 84 | Initiation Rites of a Stubborn Heroine
- Chapter 85 — Chapter 85 | Bed Soaked, Blame Assigned, and Other Forms of Aftercare
- Chapter 86 — Chapter 86 | Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
- Chapter 87 — Chapter 87 | The Post-Tutorial Patch Notes
- Chapter 88 — Chapter 88 | I Choose Lightning
- Chapter 89 — Chapter 89 | You Fight Dirty, Lukas
- Chapter 90 — Chapter 90 | After Last Night
- Chapter 91 — Chapter 91 | When The Cat’s Away...
- Chapter 92 — Chapter 92 | You Were Supposed To Be Mine
- Chapter 93 — Chapter 93 | Keep It In The Family
- Chapter 94 — Chapter 94 | An End to Choices
- Chapter 95 — Chapter 95 | Let Mommy Handle This, Sugar
- Chapter 96 — Chapter 96 | Mommy’s Missed You
- Chapter 97 — Chapter 97 | Take What’s Mine
- Chapter 98 — Chapter 98 | Mommy Knows Best
- Chapter 99 — Chapter 99 | A Three-Step Plan for Household Stability
- Chapter 100 — Chapter 100 | Breakfast is the Deadliest Weapon
- Chapter 101 — Chapter 101 | I Hate You, I Hate You, I—
- Chapter 102 — Chapter 102 | You Were Never My Second Choice
- Chapter 103 — Chapter 103 | Get. On. My. Lap.
- Chapter 104 — Chapter 104 | Face Down, Ass Up
- Chapter 105 — Chapter 105 | Peaches & Cream
- Chapter 106 — Chapter 106 | The Sheets Aren’t Going to Wash Themselves
- Chapter 107 — Chapter 107 | The System Approves
- Chapter 108 — Chapter 108 | Counterproductive
- Chapter 109 — Chapter 109 | CEO Mode
- Chapter 110 — Chapter 110 | Three Moves Ahead
- Chapter 111 — Chapter 111 | Equal Footing
- Chapter 112 — Chapter 112 | The Sixth Boundary
- Chapter 113 — Chapter 113 | Which Room Are We Using?
- Chapter 114 — Chapter 114 | Close the Door
- Chapter 115 — Chapter 115 | My Name on Your Lips
- Chapter 116 — Chapter 116 | Better?
- Chapter 117 — Chapter 117 | All Eyez On Me [PS Bonus]
- Chapter 118 — Chapter 118 | Watch Closely, Sugar
- Chapter 119 — Chapter 119 | Semantics
- Chapter 120 — Chapter 120 | The Monster We Made
- Chapter 121 — Chapter 121 | A Bed Full of Fitzgeralds
- Chapter 122 — Chapter 122 | The Family Man and Other Dangerous Revelations
- Chapter 123 — Chapter 123 | Rebranding the Anomaly
- Chapter 124 — Chapter 124 | The Family Accord and its Fine Print
- Chapter 125 — Chapter 125 | Joyful Cloud and a Filthy Moan
- Chapter 126 — Chapter 126 | At This Table, ’Legal’ is a Fluid Concept
- Chapter 127 — Chapter 127 | Good Mornings and Thick Envelopes
- Chapter 128 — Chapter 128 | Third Place, Seventh Place, and One Big Problem [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 129 — Chapter 129 | The Consolation Prize
- Chapter 130 — Chapter 130 | My Momager Wants to Read the Terms and Conditions First
- Chapter 131 — Chapter 131 | A Consolation Prize Worth Banking
- Chapter 132 — Chapter 132 | A Word That Carries Weight
- Chapter 133 — Chapter 133 | Personal Oversight
- Chapter 134 — Chapter 134 | The Aggressiveness of California Gold
- Chapter 135 — Chapter 135 | The Irritated Housecat
- Chapter 136 — Chapter 136 | Save the One-Handed Performance for Later
- Chapter 137 — Chapter 137 | My Name Is Percy
- Chapter 138 — Chapter 138 | I Know All The Exits Too
- Chapter 139 — Chapter 139 | A Crime Against God
- Chapter 140 — Chapter 140 | Adequate RAM is My Love Language
- Chapter 141 — Chapter 141 | That Interface of Yours
- Chapter 142 — Chapter 142 | Suboptimal Since Day One
- Chapter 143 — Chapter 143 | Nine Days Until
- Chapter 144 — Chapter 144 | Brace For Impact
- Chapter 145 — Chapter 145 | Atrophy is a Wasted Investment
- Chapter 146 — Chapter 146 | Collateral Damage is a Scumbag Expense
- Chapter 147 — Chapter 147 | Good News Is We Found the Upper Limit
- Chapter 148 — Chapter 148 | How Fast is Fast, Lukas?
- Chapter 149 — Chapter 149 | We Fix What You Broke ;)
- Chapter 150 — Chapter 150 | I Find Your Lack of Engagement... Noted
- Chapter 151 — Chapter 151 | The Gospel of Gerald
- Chapter 152 — Chapter 152 | Domestic Repair, Professional Grade
- Chapter 153 — Chapter 153 | A Haunted Construction Site
- Chapter 154 — Chapter 154 | The Agony of Shiplap [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 — Chapter 155 | The Things I Do For Character Development
- Chapter 156 — Chapter 156 | You Chose This Path
- Chapter 157 — Chapter 157 | The Last Quiet Morning
- Chapter 158 — Chapter 158 | Moving Day
- Chapter 159 — Chapter 159 | The Last Drive from Creston Hills
- Chapter 160 — Chapter 160 | The 405 Does Not Wait
- Chapter 161 — Chapter 161 | Prometheus House Rules
- Chapter 162 — Chapter 162 | The Common Room Collision
- Chapter 163 — Chapter 163 | Welcome to the Rest of Your Life [SEASON 1 FINALE]
- Chapter 164 — Chapter 164 | The First Step To Harem King is a Four-Hundred-Pound Dresser
- Chapter 165 — Chapter 165 | The Girl in Room 301
- Chapter 166 — Chapter 166 | Bookshelf By Three, Princess
- Chapter 167 — Chapter 167 - 16-7 | Welcome Mat, Go Away [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 168 — Chapter 168 | Nervous People Pay Attention
- Chapter 169 — Chapter 169 | The Thank You and the Recalibration
- Chapter 170 — Chapter 170 | Hurricane Diane is Incoming
- Chapter 171 — Chapter 171 | The Girl with the Ram Horns and the Rabbit Heart
- Chapter 172 — Chapter 172 | Cautiously Engaged at Zero Percent [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 173 — Chapter 173 | Revolutionary Wool
- Chapter 174 — Chapter 174 | The Strategic Value of Kindness
- Chapter 175 — Chapter 175 | Burnt Sugar and Personal Brands
- Chapter 176 — Chapter 176 | Arrival of an Event
- Chapter 177 — Chapter 177 | Bestie, Acknowledge Me [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 178 — Chapter 178 | Vibes Are a Load-Bearing Structure
- Chapter 179 — Chapter 179 | I Said What I Said
- Chapter 180 — Chapter 180 | You’re Mine. Say It.
- Chapter 181 — Chapter 181 | Side Quest: Prove Your Devotion
- Chapter 182 — Chapter 182 | Irrational Jealousy [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 183 — Chapter 183 | Marking Your Territory
- Chapter 184 — Chapter 184 | Handling the Situation
- Chapter 185 — Chapter 185 | I Won’t Break
- Chapter 186 — Chapter 186 | The Aftercare Thing
- Chapter 187 — Chapter 187 | Corruption Complete [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 188 — Chapter 188 | A Marriage Certificate Written in Code [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 189 — Chapter 189 | Ecchi Logic
- Chapter 190 — Chapter 190 | Existential Reclassification
- Chapter 191 — Chapter 191 | Performance Calibration
- Chapter 192 — Chapter 192 | My Decision [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 193 — Chapter 193 | The Moral High Ground Was Not Available For Purchase
- Chapter 194 — Chapter 194 | A Protagonist’s Build
- Chapter 195 — Chapter 195 | Time to Go Be a Scumbag
- Chapter 196 — Chapter 196 | Ecchi Logic Has Generated an Exposure Event
- Chapter 197 — Chapter 197 | Warm Honey-Blonde and Dark Grey Eyes
- Chapter 198 — Chapter 198 | Shadowmeld
- Chapter 199 — Chapter 199 | Rivalry Flag Detected
- Chapter 200 — Chapter 200 | Because Lukas Is Here